Wow, it’s been about 6 months since I have written. It is amazing how much being chronically ill takes out of me. Today has been a “bed day.” Too much pain to do anything. Thoughts–too sporadic to write anything meaningful. I am writing anyway.
The body scan to check on the status of my cancer is in a few weeks. I am pretty anxious about it. It’s hard to chill in the face of a terrifying diagnosis. Having cancer times 2 is scary.
Life goes on. As I say-we either rise to the occasion, or not. I choose to rise.
She paints her lips red. Inside she feels dead.
This pain that never leaves,
I wear it like a sleeve.
Hello friends, it’s been awhile. I come to you “en vivo”, post op, and from the Gateway to the West. Pathology came back, and my cancer-was in fact cancer. Again.
Surgery was hard. It was extremely painful, on top of the chronic pain that I suffer daily. The surgery pain is finally tolerable. So-the tumor grew outside of my thyroid, with local lymphovascular invasion. The entire right lobe of my thyroid was removed, resulting in a complete thyroidectomy.
I have felt horrible since the surgery. My energy levels are wavering, and my body temperature will not seem to regulate properly. Thus, I have been having horrible night sweats. My body is confused without it’s thyroid.
Radiation is indicated for my case. I am not looking forward to it-BUT-I have to remain positive because I have so much to be thankful for!! Thank God, and my primary care doctor that the cancer was discovered early!! Thank God my children have their health!! Thank God I have access to world class medical care!! Things truly, could always be worse.
With that being said, I am going to say my prayers and go to sleep. Goodnight for now, friends.
Til death do us part. Is this how long we will be together chronic pain? You are the constant companion that I never asked to share my life with. You are the nagging that won’t let me sleep right now. You are the author of doubt-doubt that I will ever be the same again.
PSA: There is no “good” cancer. There are subtypes, varieties and stages of every cancer. There are also RARE mixed sclerosing cancers that tend to come back. So please, never tell somebody with cancer that at least they have a GOOD CANCER. Yes, God is good. Cancer is not-especially in the context of 10,000 other health problems. Not to mention surgery, loss of an important gland, and radiation for starters.
Opinions are like “@&$?!&$, everybody has one.